All Shall Be Well

ANTON

William Shakespeare:

TIERNAN

Playwright, poet, actor, genius.

THOMAS

Writer of at least 38 plays, many of which remain popular to this very day.

SAMANTHA

It is estimated that, on any given day, there is at least one production of a Shakespeare play happening somewhere in the world.

TIERNAN

(And statistically speaking, it’s probably a Midsummer Nights’ Dream!)

ANTON

Creator of beloved characters like Julius Caesar, Richard the Third, Antony, and Cleopatra!

THOMAS

(I mean, technically those were real people -- )

ANTON

Credited with inventing or introducing 1,700 words into the English language. Words we still use today, like:

SAMANTHA

Auspicious, baseless, barefaced, dwindle

THOMAS

Ill-used, long-legged, overblown, skim-milk

SAMANTHA

Monumental, moonbeam, mountaineer, madcap

TIERNAN

As well as some that didn’t catch on, like dispunge, swoltery, boggler, quatch --

ANTON

What’s quatch?

TIERNAN

It means, like, pudgy. (ANTON looks intrigued.) Do not try to make quatch happen.

THOMAS

Shakespeare is also responsible for many of our everyday turns of phrase:

SAMANTHA

To break the ice

TIERNAN

To wear one’s heart upon one’s sleeve

THOMAS

To come full circle

ANTON

The world is my oyster

THOMAS

There’s a method to my madness

TIERNAN

You’ve eaten me out of house and home

SAMANTHA

I have not slept one wink

TIERNAN

In my heart of hearts

ANTON

It’s Greek to me!

THOMAS

And of course, help us out here: Knock knock!

(audience responds “who’s there?”)

THOMAS

William Shakespeare!

(the audience: “William Shakespeare who?)

TIERNAN

We probably should have been ready for that.

ANTON

William Shakespeare: Father, son, husband, friend.

THOMAS

Lauded by many as the greatest English dramatist of all time

SAMANTHA

And survivor of…

ALL

The Plague (sung)
Ring a ring o'roses
A pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes
We all fall down

ANTON

The Bubonic Plague – or Black Death as it would later be dubbed – arrived in Europe in 1348.

TIERNAN

The symptoms: fever, weakness, and painful swollen lymph nodes called buboes. It spread like wildfire, and was often just as deadly.

SAMANTHA

It came from rats – from fleas on rats – but people wouldn’t figure that out for a very, very long time.

THOMAS

In fact, it came from a particular bacteria, Yersinia pestis, spread by the fleas of one particular type of rat – the common Black Rat, Rattus Rattus.

SAMANTHA

It’s pretty cool, actually. See, these rat-fleas, their mouths are a particularly-efficient means of transmitting the plague. They have a kind of suction/syringe capability. So, when a flea bites a rat infected with plague, it sucks up infected blood into its stomach where the living plague bacilli block the gut. The flea moves on, gets hungry, but it can’t feed until it gets rid of its previous meal. So it finds another rat, sinks its teeth in (I mean, it doesn’t really have teeth, but you get the picture) regurgitates the infected blood into this rat, and then feeds… So the plague goes round and round!

ANTON

Great! And –

SAMANTHA

And from around the 14th to the 16th century, most people in England lived in single-storey houses with a thatched roof. Good ol’ Rattus rattus liked to climb up the walls to build nests in the roofing, at which point bunged-up fleas would fall from above and infect the people below. “Fun” fact: Wealthier people who had an upper storey were less likely to have fleas falling from the ceiling and tended to have a lower infection rate. Oh! And on top of all that, flea bites are soooo itchy and fleas tend to poop while they eat, so when you scratch –

ANTON/TIERNAN/THOMAS

Ok! Ok ok

SAMANTHA

Sorry. It’s just really fascinating.

ANTON

Yeah.

SAMANTHA

It spread like crazy and they couldn’t figure out how.

ANTON

Yeah, we got it.

THOMAS

For the next three centuries, the Plague stuck around;

TIERNAN

From year to year, it would wax and wane –

ANTON

Ebb and flow.

SAMANTHA

See, fleas hibernate as the weather cools and may even die off in winter if it gets cold enough;. But then cases would increase again in the Spring, with the height of a wave cresting mid-Summer.

THOMAS

Some waves were mild,

TIERNAN

While others were devastating.

SAMANTHA

Overall, there wasn’t a single year without at least one death from Yersinia Pestis.

ANTON

For over three centuries.

THOMAS

Now let’s imagine it’s 1564, and we’re in Stratford-Upon-Avon, a little town about 80 miles north-west of London.

TIERNAN

Ontario?

THOMAS

What? No, England.

TIERNAN

I know, I was just clarifying for the audience.

SAMANTHA

John and Mary Shakespeare have just welcomed their son, William into the world.

THOMAS

(making baby sounds) “wah, wah, to be or not to be?”

SAMANTHA

They’ve already lost two children to previous waves of the plague –
So John and Mary know as well as anyone how vulnerable children are to this disease.

ANTON

Imagine their horror, then, when that summer, with little Billy barely 3 months old, they hear the latest news:

TIERNAN

“Did you hear? The latest news? About Oliver Gunn? the weaver’s apprentice?”

ANTON

It was true. The town records note that Oliver Gunn died and was buried on July 11, 1564. And next to this entry in the burials registry, the Vicar of the Holy Trinity Church, John Brechtgirdle --

THOMAS

(a joke) Gesundheit

ANTON

John Brechtgirdle jotted down the words hic incepit pestis:

SAMANTHA

“Here begins the plague.”

TIERNAN

Determined to save their son, John and Mary barricaded themselves in their home –

ANTON/SAMANTHA

(as John and Mary) “Oh please, oh please, not this one as well…”

TIERNAN

-- while outside the plague raged on. By the end of that year’s wave, a quarter of the population of Stratford would be dead.

THOMAS

But you know who survived?

SAMANTHA/ANTON/TIERNAN

William Shakespeare!

THOMAS

(as baby Shakespeare) “to beeeee!” (encourage audience cheers)

SAMANTHA

Shakespeare’s entire life would be marked by plague; his career shaped by it.

ANTON

There was a particularly bad outbreak in 1592-93 –

SAMANTHA

That one killed 10,000 Londoners and closed the theatres for 14 months.

TIERNAN

You see, if the death-rate reached 30 per week, the theatres had to close.

THOMAS

(ironically) Hmm, weird. I wonder what that’s like?

ANTON

There were more outbreaks in 1603, 1604, 1606, 1608, 1609…

SAMANTHA

One historian sifted through surviving records and concluded that in the years between 1606 and 1610, the London playhouses couldn’t have been open for more than a total of 9 months.

THOMAS

And yet, during these tumultuous, turbulent, terrifying times, Shakespeare wrote some of his most compelling work!

TIERNAN

In 1592 when the theatres closed for two years, he turned to poetry, and his minor epic poem Venus and Adonis became a sensation (selling more copies in his lifetime than any of his theatrical works.)

THOMAS

And during that particularly bumpy time, from around 1606 to 1610, Shakespeare likely wrote some of his most profound and important plays --

ANTON

Antony and Cleopatra

SAMANTHA/THIERNAN/THOMAS

(rapturous) Ahh!

ANTON

Mac –

SAMANTHA/TIERNAN/THOMAS

(Warning:) ah ah!

ANTON

Mackety-Mack-you-know-who

SAMANTHA/TIERNAN/THOMAS

(approvingly) ahh!

ANTON

The Winter’s Tale

SAMANTHA/TIERNAN/THOMAS

(nearly weeping) ahh!

ANTON

Timon –

THOMAS

(correcting pronunciation) Timon

ANTON

Really? Ok, Timon of Athens

(The others express mixed reviews)

THOMAS

And so to honour this splendid survivor, this death-defying dramatist, we four theatre-makers –

ANTON

Uh, Five! Five. Our final member will be here any second now

THOMAS

Right! We five, we happy five, we band of bardolaters

SAMANTHA

we mere mortals, we alacritous actors

THOMAS

(nice one!)

TIERNAN

we thimple thespians

ANTON

We will perform, for your viewing pleasure, all the scenes and songs in Shakespeare’s great oeuvre that deal with The Plague!

THOMAS

(dramatic whisper) The Plague!

TIERNAN

(to audience) But don’t worry, it’ll be fun! Right?

SAMANTHA

Right!

ANTON

It better be!

THOMAS

I’m pretty sure!
They look hopefully off stage. Then back to the expectant audience.

SAMANTHA

See, it occurred to us that, given our --

SAMANTHA/ANTON/TIERNAN/THOMAS

“current situation”

SAMANTHA

We have a newly-acquired visceral understanding of what it means to live in a time of contagion, you know? A time of recurring shutdowns, of uncertainty, of evolving understandings of causes and cures… So, we figured, why not crack open those Complete Works and gather together all the many many examples of how the plague informed Shakespeare’s work – to, you know, inspire us, and give us … inspiration!

THOMAS

Yeah, because there are so many, uh, really cool scenes

ANTON

and songs!

THOMAS

Yes!

SAMANTHA

I mean, we’ve got a veritable treasure trove of Shakespearean plagueiness!

TIERNAN

So much! So much plagueiness!

ANTON

So, um, ok our 5th member is the one who did the “play portion” of the research and he should be here any second now --

TIERNAN

Group projects, amiright?

THOMAS

I mean, we did research.

SAMANTHA

Oh heck yeah we did. I read a LOT about rats. And fleas...

THOMAS

But hey, one thing we all know, is that, during one of those major lockdowns back in 1605, our pal Shakespeare didn’t sit around moping about theatre closures; no! he pulled himself up by the pantaloons, and he wrote a little play called:

ALL

King Lear.
Song: (to the tune of What do you do with a drunken sailor)
What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
Shakespeare wrote King Lear!
(spoken, with music under)

SAMANTHA

I mean me, during lockdown, I botched multiple batches of sourdough starter.

TIERNAN

I did a 30-day yoga challenge… over about 90 days

ANTON

I read the first 10 pages of So. Many. books.

THOMAS

I certainly didn’t write one of the greatest tragedies known to man, know what I mean?
(sung) What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
Shakespeare wrote King Lear!

TIERNAN

(spoken as music continues) Hey, why don’t we take this opportunity to do a little audience interaction?
(To audience) How about you? What did you all get up to during one of the previous lockdowns?

TIERNAN

(gets answers from audience members;)
(sung) What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
What did you do in isolation?
Shakespeare wrote King Lear!
The song takes a melancholy turn:

THOMAS

I watched multiple projects get shut down, just as my career was really taking off.

ANTON

I got a job working in a hospital to make ends meet and to try and help somehow.

SAMANTHA

I got a kitten (they all coo) but I also missed out on so many moments with my family…

TIERNAN

(upbeat but with a twinge of sadness) I graduated from theatre school!
The music stops.

THOMAS

Oh wow.

ANTON

T, I told you not to bring that up

SAMANTHA

(comforting her) Yeah, it’s just too sad.

TIERNAN

I know, I’m sorry. I got caught up in the sharing…
Big finish:

ALL

What did you do in isolation? Shakespeare wrote King Lear!
Song ends. A.J. enters.

A.J.

I’m here I’m here!

SAMANTHA

(to THOMAS) “Hey!” “Amazing!” “See, we told you.” “Cutting it close much?”, etc

A.J.

(seeing the audience) Woah. (to the others) Doesn’t the show start at 8?

SAMANTHA

What? No. Come on, no one wants to start anything that late nowadays.

A.J.

Uh, ok, it’s just, I was hoping we could –

TIERNAN

(to audience) Everyone, this is AJ.

A.J.

(to audience) Hi everyone.

THOMAS

So, whaddaya got? We’re ready to play, just tell us which scenes -

ANTON

Or songs!

THOMAS

Yeah, we’re ready!

A.J.

But we haven’t exactly –

ANTON

It’s fine, let’s just keep things moving. We can pick up whatever you throw down, and these fine folks have been waiting.

A.J.

Right. Ok! Uh… OK, so here we go. A scene that centers around the plague. It’s a very important scene from – drumroll please? Romeo and Juliet!

SAMANTHA/THOMAS

“Nice” “Classic!” etc

TIERNAN

Sweet! Who am I playing?

THOMAS

Yeah, which scene is it?

A.J.

Act five scene two. Friar Lawrence and Friar John.

TIERNAN

Friar John? Who the heck is that?

ANTON

Oh, that scene?

A.J.

I know, I know he’s only in this one scene, so it’s often kind of a blip in the show, but it’s a key plot point.

SAMANTHA

(getting costumes) Phew! Erika got friar robes! We didn’t know what we would need, so we asked the costume designer to give us options.

A.J.

Ok, so we have Friar Lawrence and Friar John

ANTON

(to audience) You all kinda know this one, yeah? “Two Households” and all that? Leo and Claire Danes? Or maybe you saw our production in 2018?

A.J.

I could recount the entire plot if that would be helpful?

ANTON

Nah, they’re good!

SAMANTHA

Yeah, come on, it’s R&J - let’s get to the plague part!

A.J.

Right. Ok. So, just for a bit of context since this is near the end of the play: Friar Lawrence has been helping Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet – the two star-crossed lovers from the warring houses of Verona – in their secret romance. He agrees to marry them without their parents’ knowledge, in the hopes that it will bring the two families together. But immediately after they get married, Romeo kills Juliet’s cousin –

SAMANTHA

Dude!

ANTON

My bad!

A.J.

– so he’s banished to Mantua, and Juliet’s parents (unaware that she’s already married to Romeo) decide to marry her off to this guy named Paris. Juliet is beside herself and ready to end it all, but Friar Lawrence convinces her to try his crazy plan – to take a sleeping potion that will make it look like she’s dead, and then to wait in her family’s crypt. Meanwhile, he’ll send a letter to Romeo through Friar John explaining the plan, so that when Juliet wakes up, Romeo will be there to whisk her away, beyond Verona walls, where they will live happily ever after… But then this happens:
(Act V sc 2 of R&J)

FRIAR JOHN (TIERNAN)

Holy Franciscan friar, brother, ho!

FRIAR LAWRENCE (THOMAS)

This same should be the voice of Friar John.—
Welcome from Mantua. What says Romeo?
Or, if his mind be writ, give me his letter.

FRIAR JOHN

Going to find a barefoot brother out,
One of our order, to associate me,
Here in this city visiting the sick,
And finding him, the searchers of the town,
Suspecting that we both were in a house
Where the infectious pestilence did reign,
Sealed up the doors and would not let us forth,
So that my speed to Mantua there was stayed.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Who bare my letter, then, to Romeo?

FRIAR JOHN

I could not send it—here it is again— (Returning the letter)
Nor get a messenger to bring it thee,
So fearful were they of infection.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood,
The letter was not nice but full of charge,
Of dear import, and the neglecting it
May do much danger. Friar John, go hence.
Get me an iron crow and bring it straight
Unto my cell.

FRIAR JOHN

Brother, I’ll go and bring it thee. Exit.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Now must I to the monument alone.
Within this three hours will fair Juliet wake.
She will beshrew me much that Romeo
Hath had no notice of these accidents.
But I will write again to Mantua,
And keep her at my cell till Romeo come.
Poor living corse, closed in a dead man’s tomb!
Exit. End of scene.

TIERNAN

Woah – so I got forcibly quarantined? ‘Cause they thought I had come into
contact with someone sick? That’s why I couldn’t bring the letter?

A.J.

Yes, exactly! Franciscan friars always traveled in pairs, so you went to find a fellow friar to walk with you to Mantua. He was visiting the sick at the time, so the “searchers of the town” –

THOMAS

Wait - what are searchers?

SAMANTHA

Ooh ooh! So, in London, every parish published weekly “Bills of Mortality” stating how many people had died and of what. Searchers were people paid by the parish to go out and determine what each dead person died of.

ANTON

Why are you smiling?

SAMANTHA

I’m sorry! it’s interesting!

A.J.

So the searchers –

THOMAS

Wait, but Friar John isn’t dead.

TIERNAN

Yeah, look at me.

A.J.

So the searchers were mostly tasked with identifying the cause of death of those already dead, but that meant they were also in a position to order a household to quarantine if someone died of plague inside. Or if they saw someone that they suspected had the plague or had come into contact with someone who had the plague –

TIERNAN

(dramatically) He was visiting the sick!

A.J.

Well, exactly.

TIERNAN

So I get forcibly quarantined by association – oh the humanity!

ANTON

(to TIERNAN) You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

TIERNAN

I haven’t gotten to perform in a long time, so yes.

ANTON

So quarantining was a thing then?

SAMANTHA

Oh! Yes! And in fact, oh man this is really cool - I know, I know, it’s totally sad too, but – ok Romeo and Juliet is basically set in Italy around the 14th century, yeah? The mid-14th century is when the Bubonic plague first arrived in Europe! And the word quarantine? It comes from Italian, quarantina, meaning 40; because, when the plague first started arriving in Italy it came by boat and wiped out port cities. So they started making ships wait 40 days before anyone could disembark, ‘cause it could take up to 37 days for someone to die of plague. On the bright side, most people died way before then.

TIERNAN

That’s your version of a bright side?

ANTON

Anyway, back to quarantining?

SAMANTHA

Right, so Fast-forward to Shakespeare’s time, and they also took their quarantining very seriously. Sometimes they would just paint a red cross on the front door of a house infected with the plague and trust that those inside would stay put; but at other points, they actually locked people in their houses - sealing the door from the outside; then they’d wait to see if anyone emerged when the doors were finally opened.

ANTON

I worry about you.

TIERNAN

Wait – so, there’s a plague outbreak happening during Romeo and Juliet? Like the whole time?

A.J.

Well, it’s not overtly stated, but it sure seems like it.

TIERNAN

Did we know this?

A.J.

I mean, sort of? It’s not news that this scene is about the plague, but as to how much that impacts the rest of the play, that’s not 100% clear.

ANTON

Yeah, it’s wild how this scene always seemed kinda random, but now it feels --

SAMANTHA

weirdly relatable?

ANTON

Totally.

A.J.

And once you start looking for the plague in the rest of the play, it shows up in a bunch of places. For instance, Friar Laurence’s plan to have Juliet fake her death? It basically relies on nobody questioning why a previously healthy 14-year-old would just die overnight for no clear reason.

SAMANTHA

Right. ‘Cause if there’ve been a bunch of plague deaths, it wouldn’t be surprising. Especially since the plague struck the young the most…

ANTON

Hey, both Capulet and the Nurse also mention having lost children in the past, right?

A.J.

Yes!

TIERNAN

Oh! I love the nurse! (playing The Nurse)
“…Come Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteen.
Susan and she—God rest all Christian souls!—
Were of an age: well, Susan is with God;
She was too good for me…”
Sorry. I always wanted to play the – oh wow, did Susan die of plague?

ANTON

And Capulet, when he’s talking about his daughter, Juliet, he says:
“The Earth hath swallowed all my hopes but she”

A.J.

Exactly. And again, it’s not overtly stated that they died of plague, but this is clearly a world in which children are at risk of dying young.

SAMANTHA

Shakespeare’s audience definitely would have related to that.

THOMAS

Oh! “A plague o’ both your houses!”

A.J.

Hello!

ANTON

Ah, Mercutio!

THOMAS

What a great scene, when Mercutio gets stabbed by Tybalt because Romeo got in the way. And as he’s dying, he curses both of them: “A plague o’ both your houses! They have made worms meat of me… both your houses!”

TIERNAN

This is blowing my mind.

A.J.

Right?

SAMANTHA

Oh! And near the end of the play, when the friar comes to get Juliet out of her family’s crypt, after the whole “sleeping potion plan” is foiled – Friar Lawrence, is so freaked out being there, it always seemed weird to me. But he says:

THOMAS

(as Friar Laurence) I hear some noise. Lady, come from that nest
Of death, contagion, and unnatural sleep:
A greater power than we can contradict
Hath thwarted our intents. Come, come away.
good Juliet, I dare no longer stay.

SAMANTHA

“…come from that nest of death, contagion, and unnatural sleep…” I mean, if that crypt has bodies in it of people who recently died of plague, I’d want out of there too.

THOMAS

“A greater power than we can contradict, Hath thwarted our intents.”

TIERNAN

Hey! that’s why they wear masks at the ball!

ANTON

Girl, wrong masks!

SAMANTHA

Well, there were those plague doctor masks –

THOMAS

Oh yeah, so creepy.

SAMANTHA

and people did do things like carry around little bunches of flowers, to block their nose from bad odours; because they kinda thought the disease was spread through bad smells –

THOMAS

Is that what nosegays are?

SAMANTHA

Yes! Now I want to see a version of this play where signs of the plague are everywhere. It would definitely up the stakes.

ANTON

Up the stakes? It’s Romeo and Juliet. You need higher stakes than Romeo and Juliet?

SAMANTHA

I just mean – think of that ball scene, when they’re all “Palm to palm is holy palmers kiss”. Imagine how electrifying that would be in a moment when touching or kissing could get you killed?

THOMAS

Ok. But, isn’t this just speculation? Don’t get me wrong, this is all super interesting, but that scene we did, that’s the only overt reference to the plague in the play, yeah?

A.J.

Well, yeah, but the thing is, Romeo and Juliet would have premiered soon after a major wave of plague. So maybe Shakespeare didn’t have to hammer people over the head with it. Folks would have picked up on the smallest hint of the plague. Because ultimately, whether it was on the stage or not, for the audience, it was in the air, it was all around them.
Pause as they all absorb.

TIERNAN

(To A.J.) This is so great! Look how many exciting new thoughts we’re having just from that one tiny scene that we hardly paid attention to before! Yay you!

A.J.

Yeah.

ANTON

So what’s next?

SAMANTHA

Yeah, what’s next?

A.J.

Well –

THOMAS

But we want hard facts! Speculation be damned!

A.J.

Uh, in that case…

ANTON

Come on, whaddaya got? Tick tock!

A.J.

That’s uh… that’s it.

SAMANTHA

Sorry, what?

ANTON

It sounded like you said “that’s it.”

A.J.

I did.

ANTON

You what.

A.J.

I did say that, I said that’s it.

ANTON

That’s it?

A.J.

That’s it.

THOMAS

Did he say that’s it?

TIERNAN

I don’t understand.

A.J.

I just, yeah, if you want "facts”, or unequivocal instances of the plague in the plays, then that’s it.

ANTON

Hold on

A.J.

I looked, ok, I looked! And –

TIERNAN

And?

A.J.

And sure there’s the word plague, but it’s usually a curse or an off-hand comment OR it’s a poetic device, but the actual plague or “the pestilence”, as in someone living through or dying from the plague? it just does not happen in the plays.

SAMANTHA

But what about that friar scene –

A.J.

Yeah, there’s that one –

THOMAS

And that’s the only one you found?

A.J.

No, that’s what I’m trying to tell you – it’s the only one, Period!

ANTON

So –

A.J.

And it’s not just Shakespeare; as far as we know, from that era, there are almost no “plague plays”.

SAMANTHA

But –

A.J.

Ok ok There’s Johnson’s the Alchemist –

SAMANTHA

But -

A.J.

And there are journals and pamphlets –

SAMANTHA

But

A.J.

But other than that, Shakespeare and his theatrical contemporaries avoided this topic like – well.

ANTON

So you let us put this whole opening together for nothing.

A.J.

No, what I’m getting at is –

SAMANTHA

I don’t understand, how is this possible? Shakespeare didn’t write about the plague? That makes no sense!

ANTON

Of course it does! I knew this was a bad idea.

THOMAS

Hey, don’t look at me, I wanted to do Pericles.

TIERNAN

Here we go with Pericles.

A.J.

Wait, you “knew this was a bad idea”, what does that mean?

ANTON

It means that maybe Shakespeare didn’t write about the plague because no one wanted to hear about the friggin’ plague!

A.J.

Ok, why?

ANTON

Why? Because it’s awful. It’s horrible and depressing, and it’s terrifying. And because if it’s anything like what we’ve experienced, it had already infiltrated every single aspect of their lives – it was everywhere. It was on their minds all the time. They all knew someone who was sick or had died. They had to live with the plague, they didn’t want to go to the theatre and see it. And Shakespeare didn’t want to write about it –

TIERNAN

But he did write about it, at least in that friar scene; and, it would seem, throughout Romeo and Juliet; we just really had to dig to recognize it.

A.J.

Yes, yes. So, look, I know I said that there were no overt instances of plague in the plays (other than that Friar scene) and I know that because that’s what I started out looking for: keywords, plot points. But I think I couldn’t find it in specific, clear-cut places because (to B) like you said, it’s just everywhere.

ANTON

(giving in) Ok, so..?

A.J.

So! once I realized that I had to look at the problem a little differently, and try to draw connections in unusual ways… that’s when things really started to get exciting.

TIERNAN

Woah!

A.J.

No no! Please, this is all very carefully pieced together. I started by noting every mention of the word plague or pestilence, but like I said, that was kind of lacking… So I took a cue from Friar John, who says “so fearful were they of infection” and looked for mentions of infection or contagion–

SAMANTHA

Nice.

A.J.

And there are a LOT. That led to illness in general, but it’s just so easy to get swamped in venereal diseases –

SAMANTHA/ANTON/THOMAS

Tell me about it.

A.J.

So I looked at quarantine, which isn’t a word Shakespeare used, but that led meto isolation, which led me to loneliness and fear and despair and madness…

THOMAS

We’re still talking about your research, right?

A.J.

Not to mention the social dis-ease – I mean, any pandemic is a pressure cooker, so any issues of injustice or unrest that have been simmering under the surface, they come boiling right over as things get heated. It was as true then as it is now.

TIERNAN

Ok! well let’s dig in. We have promised these folks a show.

A.J.

Great! I know it’s a bit more speculative than we originally hoped…

THOMAS

Hey, whatever. We gotta pivot, right?

ANTON

Ugh, please don’t say that word.

A.J.

Ok, so this took a long time, and it’s all pretty delicate and nuanced –

SAMANTHA

Just take us through it methodically.

A.J.

Yes, I’m so excited you’re into this! It’s gonna be great, knock on wood.
He knocks on the stage floor which opens the trap and the entire pile of research disappears.

ALL

No!

TIERNAN

Oh dear.

A.J.

No no no no no…

TIERNAN

It’s ok! I’m pretty sure I can just –

THOMAS

Yeah, yeah we can totally –

A.J.

(cont’d) no no no no no…
A.J. exits through the audience.

TIERNAN

Where are you going?

THOMAS

AJ?

SAMANTHA

You can’t just leave -

THOMAS

AJ, come on!

ANTON

This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening…

SAMANTHA

Come back, we’ll figure it out!

TIERNAN

We can put it back together, right?

ANTON

This isn’t happening, it’s not happening…

THOMAS

So, Pericles?

SAMANTHA

Oh stop it with Pericles! We’re not doing Pericles!

ANTON

I knew we shouldn’t’ve let him do all the research!

TIERNAN

I did research.

SAMANTHA

Uh, Excuse me! I read about rats!!

ANTON

Oh great, yes please tell us more about rats and how the fleas suck their blood and poop while they eat –

SAMANTHA

It’s actually really interesting!

THOMAS

(to ANTON) You know, for someone who knew all the problems before they happened, what did you do exactly?

TIERNAN

Hey!

ANTON

I put together the powerpoint!

TIERNAN

Come on –

SAMANTHA

It’s a play about the plague, so someone had to read about the plague…

THOMAS

A powerpoint in broad daylight?

ANTON

I know, ok? I know!

TIERNAN

“A plague on all this howling!”
They all stop.

TIERNAN

It’s a quote, from The Tempest. AJ’s list of every time the word “plague” occurs in Shakespeare’s writing. And “pestilence”, and “infection” and contagion…

THOMAS

Woah, the word plague shows up 110 times in the plays, and 8 times in the poems.

TIERNAN

Yeah, and a bunch of them are in – big surprise! - Timon of Athens. “A plague on thee! Thou art too bad to curse… I’d beat thee but I should infect my hands…” Ugh, such an upbeat play!

SAMANTHA

AJ wrote a note here: (Reading) “Plague and contagion are often used as a metaphor for any number of things; Even positive things like love – as in Twelfth Night, when Olivia suddenly finds herself infatuated with the young Cesario:

THOMAS

Oh I know this! (as Olivia) “Even so quickly may one catch the plague?”

SAMANTHA

“Or, in Midsummer’s when Helena wishes she could “catch” Hermia’s attractive traits in order to win Demetrius:”

TIERNAN

(as HELENA) Sickness is catching, o were favour so
Yours would I catch, fair Hermia ere I go
My ear should catch your voice, my eye your eye,
My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet melody.

THOMAS

“It can also be used to describe more negative traits; here’s Beatrice in Much Ado talking about Benedik and his new BFF, Claudio:”

SAMANTHA

(as BEATRICE) “O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.”

THOMAS

“Or, the way seeing someone else’s emotions can be contagious, like when Antony sees a messenger weep at the sight of the newly-killed Julius Caesar and says:

ANTON

Passion, I see, is catching; for mine eyes,
Seeing those beads of sorrow stand in thine,
Began to water.

TIERNAN

“Sometimes Shakespeare’s characters use the plague to curse everyday things. Two characters that do this to comedic affect are Falstaff in Henry IV parts 1 and 2, and Sir Toby Belch in Twelfth Night:”

SAMANTHA

(as FALSTAFF)
What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?
A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!
What plague have I to do with a buff jerkin?
A plague of all cowards!
A plague of all cowards, still say I.

THOMAS

(as TOBY) Burps; a plague o' these pickle-herring!

ANTON

“But sometimes, cursing people with the plague is meant to be deadly serious - “There is a commotion in the audience.

A.J.

Excuse, me, sorry, can I just get through here
(making his way through the audience with snacks and a blanket)

THOMAS

AJ what are you doing?

A.J.

It has been brought to my attention by stage management that I am contractually obligated to stay until the end of the show, or whatever (gesturing) this is. So I’m making myself comfortable. Also, Sam is my ride home.

TIERNAN

AJ come on, why don’t you come back up here.

SAMANTHA

Yeah, this is all your work, we’re just trying to make sense of it, and it’s –

A.J.

No, no way, I can’t ok. It’s just… too much. I’ve got my Repercussion blanket here and I am gonna get some rest. Please, don’t let me interrupt.
ANTON, annoyed, tries to continue from where they left off, but with an extra edge:

ANTON

But sometimes, cursing people with the plague is meant to be deadly serious - like Lear to his daughter Goneril:

TIERNAN

(as Lear):
Thou art a boil,
A plague-sore, an embossed carbuncle,
In my corrupted blood.

A.J.

(from the audience)
Embossèd, I think you need to stress the -ed ending if you want that line to scan.
(He lays back down.)

ANTON

(Really annoyed now)
Or Coriolanus to the people of Rome:
(as MARCIUS, but directing this to A.J.)
All the contagion of the south light on you,
You shames of Rome! you herd of--Boils and plagues
Plaster you o'er, that you may be abhorr'd
Further than seen and one infect another
Against the wind a mile!
No response from A.J., SAMANTHA pulls some folders out of somewhere without anyone noticing.

SAMANTHA

Oh wow, hey, here’s a full scene… it looks like it’s some kind of historical reenactment or something…

TIERNAN

Really?

SAMANTHA

Yeah, should we try it out?

THOMAS

Yes, yes, please, let’s do it.

SAMANTHA

Hey! Heather Ellen, can you play that sound? Thanks!
(SAMANTHA hands out scripts and pulls out a bunch of set dressing elements and props to set up the scene: a physician’s shoppe in the year 1590-something.)

PATIENT

(entering)
Excuse me –

DOCTOR

Oh! I didn’t hear you come in. (It’s a daily joke:) Hard to hear the bell over all the death knells!

PATIENT

(getting to the point) Are you a doctor?

DOCTOR

Well, medical science isn’t really a thing yet, but we don’t know that, so, sure!
(To be clear, this person is NOT a Doctor.)

PATIENT

Great –

DOCTOR

Wait, you don’t have a broken bone, do you? Because the “surgeon” (who’s also the barber) is next door.

PATIENT

Uh, no –

DOCTOR

Phew! (Patient starts to enter) Wait! (Reading from a poster nearby) Hast thou encountered one or more of the following: a southwesterly wind? a ghost? A demon? Satan? “bad air”? Beggars, outcasts or general undesirables? A dog? A cat? a witch or one of her familiars?

PATIENT

What? No. Why –?

DOCTOR

Because these are the likeliest causes of the pestilence, so, obviously I need to know –

PATIENT

Oh well, no.

DOCTOR

Good! Now, sit down and roll up your sleeve. We’ll start with a good bloodletting. Where are my leeches?...

PATIENT

No! No leeches, please.

DOCTOR

Oh. I do have a pen knife. It’s a bit dull, but –

PATIENT

Is the bloodletting really necessary?

DOCTOR

The nature of man consists of four humours, with their properties corresponding to one of the four seasons.
He indicates a poster on which is written:
Blood: hot and wet - Spring;
Yellow Bile: hot and DRY - Summer;
Black Bile: COLD and dry - Autumn;
and, naturally, Phlegm: cold and WET - Winter.
Good health comes form the balance of these elements, while imbalance results in DIS-ease. One’s regime must be molded and modified according to one’s humour and the season. For instance, those with a Choleric Temperament (pointing to that section) they tend towards foods that are, like them, bitter and salty; but they must avoid such foods! No salt, no peppa, no just no. What they need is Phlegmatic foods. (pointing to that section) Phlegmatic Temperament - cold, moist, insipid, dull; they want cucumbers and spinach - no! They need Choleric foods! Hot! Spicy! (getting weirdly into this) Now, you strike me, frankly, as a Melancholic sourtart - all lemons and boohoohoo; you need to take a cue from the hot and moist Sanguines over here, with their butter and sugar and moistness –

PATIENT

Ah! please stop saying that word.

DOCTOR

What, moist? I’ll stop saying it when it stops being a vital part of your health.
A Woman About Town enters - she is a cheerful gossip who looks like she has every disease except the plague.

WOMANABOUTTOWN

Hello Guv!

DOCTOR

Hello love!

WOMANABOUTTOWN

Have you heard the latest proclamation from her majesty? It’s the first official governmental advice against the plague. (she unrolls a long scroll)

PATIENT

So? What does it say? How do we cure it?

WOMANABOUTTOWN

Oh, I can’t read it, darlin’, but I do remember this bit: ‘The poor which can not get vinegar nor buy Cinnamon, may eat bread and Butter alone, for Butter is not only a preservative against the plague, but against all manner of poisons.’

PATIENT

So, “let them eat butter?”

WOMANABOUTTOWN

And I’m Sanguine, so I love butter…

DOCTOR

See? Hot and moist.

PATIENT

That can’t be the only option?

WOMANABOUTTOWN

Well, there’s Cinnamon and vinegar I guess…

DOCTOR

Wait - you mean for someone who actually has the plague?

PATIENT

Yes.

DOCTOR

To quote Chaucer, run fast and run far.
Suddenly, the door-bell chimes as a clergyman of some kind enters.

CLERGYMAN

(ln the middle of some sort of sermon) And verily I said unto them: This is the dealing of God. When he cometh to visit, he findeth nought but a general sin in every house. Shall he not then bring a kind of general judgment upon every house? Thou canst not outrun the devil’s dam.There is no cure but this: cease to do evil; learn to do well.

DOCTOR

And just for good measure, bathe in your own urine.

WOMANABOUTTOWN

Oh yeah, of course

CLERGYMAN

Goes without saying.

CLERGYMAN

We, the holy, will purge this land of sin. A group of devout worshippers have set out on a pilgrimage of public flagellation, from London into every small town –

PATIENT

(dawning horror) Doesn’t that just spread the –

PRIEST

Yes yes I know! But the real culprit is the damned theatre. After all “The cause of plague is sin, and the cause of sin is plays.”
From out in the audience:

A.J.

What the heck is this? This isn’t my research! Stop! Just stop - Cut!

ANTON

What are you doing? I have a song coming up –

A.J.

(still in the audience) These historical references are all over the place and there’s no consistency in the tone; it sounds like it was written by someone with a weird obsession with the…
They all look at A.

SAMANTHA

What?! (taking back her script, defensive) I didn’t have time to smooth out the dramatic voice… We needed to do something! (to E) You just left!

A.J.

I’m sorry!

SAMANTHA

And hey, I’m sorry if I got “obsessed” with doing the research I said I’d do –

TIERNAN

(Almost to herself) I did research –

SAMANTHA

And I’m sorry that I find information, I don’t know, comforting? It’s just all so confusing and overwhelming, but I feel like, if I can understand it, I’ll be ok…ok? I know that doesn’t make sense here (motioning to her head) but it makes sense here (to her gut). Does that make sense?

A.J.

No.

THOMAS

Sam, that’s the most sense anything has made this whole time. (to E) And unless you’re coming back up here, you stay out of this.

A.J.

(still in the audience) I just can’t. I –

THOMAS

I get it, AJ, Ok? I do. You did all this work, you had everything planned and then, it all fell apart. I mean, if that’s not a metaphor for the past two years, I don’t know what is! Same with you, Sam – you’re trying desperately to make sense of what feels like it makes no sense. “A greater power than we can contradict hath thwarted our intents.” And that sense of destabilization, that feeling like the world has been turned upside down, like our perfect “important” lives have been upended by something we can’t control – I think that’s actually what Shakespeare wrote about so well. I know for me, I keep going back to –

TIERNAN

Do NOT say Pericles.

THOMAS

I won’t. No, I’m realizing that lately, I keep rereading Hamlet – and I know that’s not very original. But he articulates a feeling of profound ennui that just… (gesture: resonates.) Yes, in the context of the play it’s tied to his father’s murder, but that’s not what matters --

A.J.

Woah, what happened to “speculation be damned! We want facts!”

THOMAS

(to A.J.) I’m pivoting! I’m adapting to new information and circumstances! It is possible, you know! (back to the rest) Hamlet is wrestling with the fact that the path he thought he was on, has been taken away from him and he is now faced with life or death circumstances that he doesn’t want to deal with; but he has no choice, so he’s stuck. (To the others) Come on who knows this play?
TIERNAN and ANTON raise their hands; THOMAS jumps into the scene as Hamlet.

HAMLET (THOMAS)

My excellent good friends! How dost thou,
Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, now what’s the news?
ROSENCRANTZ (TIERNAN)
(remembering the scene) None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.

HAMLET

Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true.
Let me question more in particular: what have you,
my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune,

that she sends you to prison hither?

GUILDENSTERN (ANTON)

Prison, my lord!

HAMLET

Denmark's a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ

Then is the world one.

HAMLET

A goodly one; in which there are many confines,
wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.

ROSENCRANTZ

We think not so, my lord.

HAMLET

Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing
either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me
it is a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ

Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too
narrow for your mind.

HAMLET

O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count
myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I
have bad dreams… But, in the
beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

ROSENCRANTZ

To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

HAMLET

Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks;
but … Were you not sent for?
Come, deal justly with me:

GUILDENSTERN

What should we say, my lord?

HAMLET

Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent
for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks
which your modesties have not craft enough to colour:
I know the good king and queen have sent for you.
(R&G exchange a look)

GUILDENSTERN

My lord, we were sent for.

HAMLET

I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation
prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king
and queen moult no feather. I have of late--but
wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all
custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily (maybe the others join in?)
with my disposition that this goodly frame, the
earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most
excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave
o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to
me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
A.J. jumps in with a section from RICHARD II (ACT III, Sc 2)

A.J.

(from the audience, making his way to the stage)
… of comfort no man speak:
Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,
Let's choose executors and talk of wills:
And yet not so, for what can we bequeath
Save our deposed bodies to the ground?

THOMAS

Is this a Richard the second which I see before me?

SAMANTHA

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
(the others join in) Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

ANTON

I want more of that. More playing less talking.

TIERNAN

Yeah!

A.J.

Me too!

ANTON

But I don’t want to just contemplate the meaninglessness of it all… Cause sure, I feel that “profound ennui” sometimes, but most times, certainly in the early days, I was too busy working to feel depressed.

TIERNAN

I hear that!

ANTON

And even now, I still feel so many different things - sad, angry, lost – because even though the “world turned upside down”, has anything really changed?

A.J.

Not enough!

ANTON

So I want something massive, something churning and all-encompassing –

A.J.

Oh! Oh! The Storm!

ANTON

Yes! I want to storm!

A.J.

Me too!

TIERNAN

Yeah!

SAMANTHA/TIERNAN/THOMAS

Yeah!

THOMAS

Wait - which storm?

ANTON/A.J.

Exactly!
Sound: Thunder. The storm is brewing.

A.J.

Thank you Heather! (To them and us) In a bunch of Shakespeare’s plays, a storm takes centre stage and re-shapes the world. It’s like a physical manifestation of the turmoil that is happening in the world

ANTON

It’s all-consuming, it’s relentless, and it doesn’t care if you’re a king or a castaway, it’ll drown you just the same.

TIERNAN

Amen!

ANTON

‘Cause we might be in the same storm, but not necessarily in the same boat.

A.J.

Even on the same ship, there can be different experiences –

SAMANTHA

(realizing) The Tempest!

A.J.

Yes! Do it! (SAMANTHA goes to get costumes)

ANTON/TIERNAN

(Calling it) Julius Caesar!

THOMAS

Oh man oh man oh man!

THOMAS/A.J.

Pericles!

ANTON

Come on Prince of Tyre!
(The sounds of a storm, which have been brewing under the previous, grow in strength)

A.J.

And of course… King Lear. Cast out, and edging ever-closer to madness, he calls out to the storm and says “bring it on!”
Lear (A.J.)
Blow winds, and crack your cheeks; Rage, blow
You Cataracts, and Hurricanos spout,
'til you have drench'd, our Steeples, drown'd the Cocks.
You Sulph'rous and Thought-executing Fires,
Vaunt-couriers of Oak-cleaving Thunder-bolts,
Singe my white head. And thou all-shaking Thunder,
Strike flat the thick Rotundity o'th' world,
Crack Nature's moulds, all Germains spill at once
That makes ingrateful Man…
Thunder

ANTON

In another storm, at the beginning of The Tempest, the crew works to save the ship and the royal passengers below…

BOATSWAIN (SAMANTHA)

Heigh, my hearts! Cheerly, cheerly, my hearts! Yare! Yare.
Take in the topsail! Tend to the master's whistle.
[To the storm] Blow 'til thou burst thy wind if room enough!
Enter King (ANTON), Antonio (A.J.) and Gonzalo(THOMAS)

KING

Good boatswain, have care. Where's the master? Play the men.

BOATSWAIN

I pray now, keep below.

ANTONIO

Where is thy master?

BOATSWAIN

Do you not hear him? You mar our labor. Keep your cabins!

GONZALO

Nay, good, be patient.

BOATSWAIN

When the sea is. Hence! You do assist the storm. What cares these roarers
for the name of King? To cabin! Silence: trouble us not.

GONZALO

Remember whom thou hast aboard.

BOATSWAIN

None that I more love than myself. If you can command these elements to
silence and work the peace of the present, we will not hand a rope more.
Use your authority; if you cannot, give thanks you have lived so long, and
make yourself ready in your cabin for the mischance of the hour if it so hap.

Exit Nobles.

Mast.(voice offstage) Down with the topmast!

BOATSWAIN

[To Mariners] Cheerly, good hearts! Down with the topmast!
The royals make frightened noises.

BOATSWAIN

A plague upon this howling!
(exit)

A.J.

Meanwhile, in Rome:

CASSIUS (SAMANTHA)

Who's there?

CASCA (TIERNAN)

A Roman.

CASSIUS

Casca, by your voice.

CASCA

Your ear is good. Cassius, what night is this!

CASSIUS

A very pleasing night to honest men.

CASCA

Who ever knew the heavens menace so?

CASSIUS

Those that have known the earth so full of faults.
For my part, I have walk'd about the streets,
And, thus unbracèd, Casca, as you see,
Have bared my bosom to the thunder-stone;

CASCA

But wherefore did you so much tempt the heavens?

CASSIUS

You are dull, Casca, and those sparks of life
That should be in a Roman you do want,
Or else you use not. You look pale and gaze
To see the strange impatience of the heavens:
But if you would consider the true cause
Why all these fires, why all these gliding ghosts,
Why all these things change from their ordinance
To monstrous quality,-- why, you shall find
That heaven hath infused them with these spirits,
To make them instruments of fear and warning
Unto some monstrous state.
Now could I, Casca, name to thee a man
Most like this dreadful night,
That thunders, lightens, opens graves, and roars
As doth the lion in the Capitol…

CASCA

'Tis Caesar that you mean; is it not, Cassius?

CASSIUS

Let it be who it is: for Romans now
Have thews and limbs like to their ancestors;
But, woe the while! our fathers' minds are dead,

CASCA

Indeed, they say the senators tomorrow
Mean to establish Caesar as a king;

CASSIUS

I know where I will wear this dagger then;
Cassius from bondage will deliver Cassius:
Therein, ye gods, you make the weak most strong;
Therein, ye gods, you tyrants do defeat:
If I know this, know all the world besides,
That part of tyranny that I do bear
I can shake off at pleasure.

CASCA

So can I:
So every bondman in his own hand bears
The power to cancel his captivity.

CASSIUS

And why should Caesar be a tyrant then?
Poor man! I know he would not be a wolf,
But that he sees the Romans are but sheep:
But, O grief,
Where hast thou led me? I perhaps speak this
Before a willing bondman;

CASCA

You speak to Casca, and to such a man
That is no fleering tell-tale. Hold, my hand:
And I will set this foot of mine as far
As who goes farthest.

CASSIUS

There's a bargain made.
(they grasp hands; thunder)

A.J.

In a different ship, on a different sea, Pericles pleads with the storm to have a care for his new wife, Thaisa, in the next cabin; She has gone into labour early, and he’s waiting for news from her nurse, Lychorida –

PERICLES (THOMAS)

(praying) Thou god of this great vast, rebuke these surges,
Which wash both heaven and hell; and thou, that hast
Upon the winds command, bind them in brass,
Having call'd them from the deep! O, still
Thy deafening, dreadful thunders; gently quench
Thy nimble, sulphurous flashes! O, how, Lychorida,
How does my queen?
(as LYCHORIDA enters with a baby)

LYCHORIDA (TIERNAN)

Here is a thing too young for such a place,
Who, if it had conceit, would die, as I
Am like to do: take in your arms this piece

Of your dead queen.

PERICLES

How, how, Lychorida?

LYCHORIDA

Patience, good sir; do not assist the storm.
Here's all that is left living of your queen,
A little daughter: for the sake of it,
Be manly, and take comfort.

PERICLES

O you gods!
Why do you make us love your goodly gifts,
And snatch them straight away?

LYCHORIDA

Patience, good sir,
Even for this charge.

PERICLES

Now, mild may be thy life!
For a more blustrous birth had never babe:
Quiet and gentle thy conditions! for
Thou hast as chiding a nativity
As fire, air, water, earth, and heaven can make,
To herald thee from the womb:

Enter a Sailor (SAMANTHA)

SAILOR

What courage, sir, God save you!

PERICLES

Courage enough: I do not fear the flaw;
It hath done to me the worst.

SAILOR

Sir, your queen must overboard: the sea works high,
the wind is loud, and will not lie till the ship be
cleared of the dead.

PERICLES

That's your superstition.

SAILOR

Pardon us, sir; with us at sea it hath been still
observed: and we are strong in custom. Therefore
briefly yield her; for she must overboard straight.

PERICLES

As you think meet. Most wretched queen!

(Exit Pericles characters)

ANTON

And as the storm finally dissipates, a bedraggled Lear begins to contemplate (for possibly the first time) what other less fortunate souls might be out there…

LEAR

Poor naked wretches, wheresoe’er you are,
That bide the pelting of this pitiless storm,
How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides,
Your looped and windowed raggedness defend you
From seasons such as these? O, I have ta’en
Too little care of this. Take physic, pomp.
Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel,
That thou may’st shake the superflux to them
And show the heavens more just.
End of the storm.

SAMANTHA

Now that felt good.

TIERNAN/THOMAS

Yeah!

ANTON

And there’s so much more! What about how people respond AFTER the storm? Like Viola in Twelfth Night, shipwrecked and separated from her twin brother:
“What country, friends, is this?... Ilyria? My brother he is in Elysium…”

SAMANTHA

Oh oh or how about Mackers when, he and Lady M have spent the night murdering the King, and Lennox shows up and is all “Did you hear that crazy storm last night? It was crazy!” And Mackers says: “T’was a rough night.”

THOMAS

Ah! There are so many great ways we can go!

TIERNAN

Yeah, I can finally share my research on King Lear!

ALL

What??

TIERNAN

I keep telling you I DID research!

A.J.

Ok, ok, but can we take 10 minutes to actually PLAN something?

ANTON

Yes! In fact, how about we take a little intermission?

ANTON

Oh, for – an extra week of rehearsal!
My kingdom for a cast of more than five,
Then could we tell a story universal,
And dazzle you with wondrous worlds contrived.

TIERNAN

But pardon us for our defects thus far,
And pardon us that may still come up short,
And let us, thimple thespians though we are,
On your imaginary forces work.

A.J.

Suppose upon this stage you see it all,
Piece out our imperfections with your minds;
This park, know it as more than Montreal,
Into a dozen parts, us each divide;

SAMANTHA

For ’tis your thoughts that now must deck our Queens,
Must bring to life our horses and our hounds,
Your eyes must hear our hearts, not just what seems
To be; the sense, and more than just the sounds.

THOMAS

Thus may you patiently, we humbly pray,
Hear our intents and kindly judge our play.
The actors exit, but B stays onstage.

ANTON

Come with us on a journey that will range
Through time and space, to places known and strange.
I’ll be your guide, and we’ll all play our roles,
Though what it means is out of my control.
When we began, to find the plague was key;
But very soon, the path grew hard to see
And so we stumbled forward, sometimes reeling
Endeavouring to find our way through feeling.
To draw connections ‘tween the then and now
That’s our great hope; here’s hoping we learn how
To make such links that will inspire meaning
The likes of which are worth your time in gleaning.
Our players are at hand, and all impatient
To play some Shakespeare, some more “bard-adjacent”;
But all of it – our reason and our rhymes –
Is but to hold a mirror to our times.
And look! See here, our first guest is at hand
A spirit, crept here from the fairyland….
A has become some sort of fairy.

SAMANTHA

Are we awake, or do we all but dream
That anything is anything it seems?
In plays (and life) examples do abound
Of worlds entire turned quite upside down,
Whether by war, disease, corruption,
Or supernatural disruption…
And oftentimes such instability
Reveals a truth, to those with eyes to see.
Our Shakespeare lived in times of great upheaval,
As Earth went from the centre to the rim;
For Ptolemy’s ideas – so medieval –
Became, like bounded rings, wholly unhinged.
The sun, once thought to circle in a sphere
Was urged to center by Copernicus,
Decent’ring humans, making it quite clear:
“The universe does not revolve ‘round us?!”
But change is hard for mortals to accept,
(As Galileo later would discover!)
And some, it seems, would rather fight to death
Than, I don’t know, uh, talk to one another?
And so the urge to reign supreme persists
For those who cannot stand to step aside,
As though infinite things can’t coexist,
Trivial and vital, both at the same time.
For even now this lesson still needs learning
(though some have known these truths since time of old)
We’re not the center of the world that’s turning;
Just one strand in a web we can’t control.
But I’m a sprite, just over here detached;
I hope you make it, though. You’re fun to watch.

THOMAS

(aside to SAMANTHA) Well someone found their dramatic voice.

ANTON

Hey fairy! Do these pants make me look… quatch?
SAMANTHA exits

ANTON

Let’s move our scene now from the fairy realm
Where mischief and disorder reign in full,
Into the realm of kings where things are, well,
Decidedly more hierarchical.
But even mighty monarchs live on bread,
And sometimes must live past their peerless power
Like Richard (number two) late de-thronèd
There, contemplating, locked in London Tower.
A.J. as RICHARD II appears. THOMAS takes Richard’s crown.
While Hamlet pictured prisons every place;
Our Richard lives a King of finite space.
Richard II, Act V scene 5

A.J.

(as RICHARD)
I have been studying, how to compare
This Prison where I live, unto the World:
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a Creature, but my self,
I cannot do it: yet I’ll hammer’t out.
My Brain, I’ll prove, the Female to my Soul,
My Soul, the Father: and these two beget
A generation of still-breeding Thoughts;
And these same Thoughts, people this Little World
In humours, like the people of this world;
Thoughts tending to Ambition, they do plot
Unlikely wonders; how these vain weak nails
May tear a passage through the Flinty ribs
Of this hard world, my ragged prison walls:
And for they cannot, die in their own pride.
Thoughts tending to Content, flatter themselves,
That they are not the first of Fortune’s slaves,
Nor shall not be the last. Like silly Beggars,
Who sitting in the Stocks, refuge their shame,
That many have, and others must sit there;
And in this Thought, they find a kind of ease,
Bearing their own misfortune on the back
Of such as have before endur’d the like.
Thus play I in one person many people,
And none contented. Sometimes am I King;
Then Treasons make me wish my self a Beggar,
And so I am. Then crushing penury,
Persuades me, I was better when a King:
Then am I king’d again: and by and by,
Think that I am un-king’d by Bolingbroke,
And straight am nothing. But what e’er I am,
(Music)
Nor I, nor any man, that but man is,
With nothing shall be pleas’d, ‘til he be eas’d,
With being nothing. Music do I hear?
Ha, ha? keep time: How sour sweet Music is,
When Time is broke, and no Proportion kept,
So is it in the Music of men’s lives:
I wasted Time, and now doth Time waste me:
This Music mads me, let it sound no more,
Yet blessing on his heart that gives it me;
For ’tis a sign of love, and love to Richard,
Is a strange Brooch, in this all-hating world.

ANTON

Let’s leave poor Richard to his contemplation
And journey to another play and year,
Where we confront vocif’rous consternation
As cit’zens arm themselves with rage and fear;
For new arrivals landing on their shore,
Have, they believe, rendered them all quite poor;
And so they take their case to Thomas Moore.
ANTON becomes Thomas More.

ALL

Thomas who?

ANTON

You’ll see.
For as you know, dis-ease is often blamed
On those deemed “strangers”, however they’re named.
Shift to a scene from Sir Thomas More.

JOHN LINCOLN (THOMAS)

Peace hear me! he that will not see butter at eleven pence a pound, meal at nine shillings a Bushel and Beef at four nobles a stone, list to me.

DOLL WILLIAMSON (TIERNAN)

It will come to that pass if strangers be suffer’d, mark him.

JOHN LINCOLN

Our Country is a great eating Country; ergo they eat more in our Country than they do in their own.

CITIZEN 2 (A.J.)

Trash! trash! They breed sore eyes, and ’tis enough to infect the City with the palsy.

JOHN LINCOLN

Nay, it has infected it with the palsy, for these bastards of dung - as you know, they grow in Dung - have infected us, and it is our infection will make the City shake.

CITIZEN 3 (A Journalist - SAMANTHA)

What say you to the mercy of the king?
Do you refuse it?

JOHN LINCOLN

No, marry, do we not. We accept of the king’s mercy, but we will show no mercy upon the strangers. (Cheers from citizens)

Enter Thomas More (ANTON)

JOHN LINCOLN

Sheriff More! shall we hear Sheriff More speak?

ALL CITIZENS

Sheriff More, More, More, Sheriff More!

SIR THOMAS MORE

(to the crowd) Good masters, hear me speak.

ALL (OTHER CITIZENS)

Peace, peace

SIR THOMAS MORE

Look what you do offend you Cry upon;
That is, the peace.
Had there such fellows liv’d when you were babes
That could have topp’d the peace, as now you would,
The peace wherein you have ‘til now grown up
Had been ta’en from you, and the bloody times
Could not have brought you to the state of men.
Alas, poor things! what is it you have got
Although we grant you get the thing you seek?

CITIZEN 2 (ANTON)

Marry, the removing of the strangers!
SIR THOMAS MORE
Grant them removed, and grant that this your noise
Hath Chid down all the majesty of England.
Imagine that you see the wretched strangers,
Their babies at their backs, with their poor luggage,
Plodding to th’ ports and coasts for transportation,
And that you sit as kings in your desires,
Authority quite silenc’d by your brawl,
And you in ruff of your opinions cloth’d:
What had you got? I’ll tell you: You had taught
How insolence and strong hand should prevail,
How order should be quell’d. and by this pattern
Not one of you should live an aged man;
For other ruffians, as their fancies wrought,
With self same hand, self reasons, and self right,
Would shark on you, and men, like ravenous fishes,
Would feed on one another.

DOLL WILLIAMSON

Before God, that’s as true as the Gospel.

SIR THOMAS MORE

…O, desperate as you are,
Wash your foul minds with tears, and those same hands
That you, like rebels, lift against the peace,
Lift up for peace!
You’ll put down strangers, Kill them, cut their throats,
Possess their houses – oh, alas, alas!
…Say now the king,
Should so much come too short of your great trespass
As but to banish you: whither would you go?
What Country, by the nature of your error,
Should give you harbour? go you to France or Flanders,
Nay, any where that not adheres to England:
Why, you must needs be strangers. Would you be pleased
To find a nation of such barbarous temper
That, breaking out in hideous violence,
Would not afford you, an abode on earth,
Whet their detested knives against your throats,
Spurn you like dogs, and like as if that God
Owed not nor made not you? What would you think
To be thus us’d? This is the strangers’ case,
And this your mountainish inhumanity.
song - Blow Blow Thou Winter Winds

ANTON

Now let us turn to an imagined court
In which divergent arguments you’ll hear,
Each side presenting cases for support,
Debating whether Shakespeare killed King Lear…
TIERNAN prepares to make her case.

TIERNAN

It is, by now, a widely-circulated idea: William Shakespeare made use of theatre
closures due to plague to write his Tragedy, King Lear. This claim has been used to both highlight the Bard’s genius, and make the rest of us feel pretty pathetic.
On the surface, it seems true enough. After all, Lear was first performed at court in 1606, just after a wave of plague and theatre closures. But! This idea is only partially true. Because that play, the “Tragedy of King Lear” (L-E-A-R) is actually an adaptation of an earlier anonymous play called “The True Chronicle Historie of King Leir” (L-E-I-R).
Did Shakespeare know this earlier play? All evidence says yes – but how?
See, the truth is, for a playwright so celebrated, we actually know very little about his life. There’s an entire period of time that scholars refer to as “the lost years” – a 7-ish year gap between 1585 when his twins are baptized in Stratford and 1592 when we know he’s become an actor-writer of some reputation in London.
What happened during that time? How did he get from there to there?
One theory is that he joined The Queen’s Men while they were touring the countryside and made his way with them to London. It would make so much sense given the kinds of plays the Queen’s Men were known for, particularly histories – like the True Chroniall Historie of King Leir –

THOMAS

Objection, your honours, this is all speculation.

TIERNAN

Withdrawn. But it is beyond dispute that Shakespeare knew about this earlier
version of King Leir. Hold them up side by side and the similarities cannot be explained by coincidence or shared source material. If I were to speculate, I’d say I think he acted in the original –

THOMAS

Objection…

TIERNAN

– and even had a hand in writing!

THOMAS

Objection!

TIERNAN

Now, you may be saying to yourselves, “Fine, Shakespeare adapted King Lear in
1606 – what’s the difference?” Well, the question of course is, how does he adapt it? And I’ll tell you: he makes it a lot sadder! He takes a pleasant story about a King and his daughter, in which nobody dies, and turns it into a tragedy of apocalyptic proportions – a play riddled with misery, torture, suicide and murder. (to D) Can you please read the description of the ending of L-E-I-R?
(Someone reading) “Lear and his favourite daughter are reconciled and no one dies.”

TIERNAN

Thank you. And the ending of L-E-A-R?
(Someone reading) “Basically everybody dies – and they all suffer a LOT along the way.”

TIERNAN

So, sure, Shakespeare used his time in lockdown to work on King Lear; but he
used that time to plunge it into darkness. Imagine being in the audience on opening? “Oh nice, King Lear, I love this story!” And then bam! Everybody dies!

THOMAS

Relevance?

TIERNAN

This is a dark moment for Shakespeare. The plays he writes in this period are
almost all tragedies, and you could say they’re all about a plague:
Macbeth? The plague of tyranny. Timon? The plague of capitalism. Othello? Jealousy -- Iago says “I will pour my pestilence into his ear” – not to mention the plague of racism. This may be the height of Shakespeare’s brilliance as a writer, but it is the valley of despair for him as a human. This play isn’t the pinnacle of Shakespeare’s trajectory, it’s rock-bottom. And I, for one, refuse to celebrate his pain as productivity.
TIERNAN finishes her statements and sits. THOMAS stands.

THOMAS

My colleague is right. Shakespeare’s Lear is bleak. As far as outlooks on the
world go, it is, as you say, rock bottom. But that means there’s only one place to go from there. Because as dark as this play gets, it is not the end – not of Shakespeare’s writing nor his life. And from this point on, his plays climb upward, towards forgiveness and reconnection, towards reconciliation, towards hope and, yes, to love. Lear isn’t the pinnacle, it’s the fulcrum. It’s the pivot point.
You know, at the end of L-E-A-R, Cordelia’s lifeless body is carried out by the
desperate, distraught king. It’s a heartbreaking scene, it’s true. Because, like so often in the tragedies, it all seems (from a distance) so preventable. Lear says:
“...No, no, no life!
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,
And thou no breath at all? Thou’lt come no more,
Never, never, never, never, never!”
And then, there’s a moment where he thinks he sees Cordelia breathe, and we think she’s going to make it –
“Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,
Look there, look there!” And then he dies, and she doesn’t magically wake up, and it’s … devastating. One moment, they’re there and everything is possible, and then, they’re gone. But you know who survives? The audience. Because yes, it’s life and death, and it’s bleak, but it’s also just a play. And maybe, in bleak times, being reminded that life can be gone like that, but right now, you’re still here – maybe that’s the greatest gift a dramatist can offer. So no, Shakespeare didn’t kill King Lear; he sacrificed him.

ANTON

“The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.”
Those solemn words do end the play King Lear,
And lead us on our next fanciful flight
Thus from rock-bottom we climb up from here
Towards a place of laughter and delight –

A.J.

(interrupting) Can we – sorry, but can we pause for a minute?

ANTON

Not really no; next up is Venus and Adonis, remember - this is the fun part!

A.J.

I know, I’m sorry, I just –

ANTON

It works so well here because this Shakespeare’s actual lockdown project, written
15 years before King Lear (however you wanna spell it).

A.J.

I know, and I’m looking forward to that, I just didn’t realize how hard that Lear
and Cordelia image would hit me, you know? As a dad? And it’s making me think about how Shakespeare lost a child...

THOMAS

Wait, really? He did?

SAMANTHA

Right - he had twins, Hamnet and Judith, and Hamnet died when he was only 11.

THOMAS

Of what? Oh no, really?

SAMANTHA

Well, we don’t know for sure, but it could have been plague - the young were the most at risk.

A.J.

I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a child. But Shakespeare did
experience that loss, and then he wrote about it. I mean not directly, but – just
hang on – (he goes offstage)

ANTON

Where is he going? What is happening? We had a plan!

THOMAS

But AJ’s been inspired.

ANTON

That was not part of the plan!

TIERNAN

Honestly, I’m glad we stopped, I need a minute, too.

SAMANTHA

Yeah, I want to debrief that Thomas More speech. What the? (to B) I have never heard that speech before. That’s Shakespeare?

ANTON

It’s a co-creation by a bunch of writers, but recent consensus is that, yes, Shakespeare wrote that particular speech.

SAMANTHA

Wow.

ANTON

Apparently they can recognize his handwriting.

SAMANTHA

That’s so cool.

ANTON

Ya. Can we (makes a sign like “keep going”)

THOMAS

It’s such a powerful speech, so current.

SAMANTHA

It’s just like AJ said - a pandemic is a kind of pressure cooker; it may not
cause all the issues, but it sure exposes a lot of them.

ANTON

Speaking of AJ…

A.J.

(coming back with text) Ok, So, Hamnet died in 1596, while Shakespeare was
writing a play called King John. In it there’s this character named Constance… Sam, would you mind reading this? And maybe Thomas and Anton? (handing them the book)

KING PHILIP (THOMAS)

Patience, good lady! comfort, gentle Constance!

CONSTANCE (SAMANTHA)

No, I defy all counsel, all redress,
But that which ends all counsel, true redress,
Death, death; O amiable lovely death!

KING PHILIP

O fair affliction, peace!

CONSTANCE

No, no, I will not, having breath to cry:
O, that my tongue were in the thunder’s mouth!

CARDINAL PANDULPH (ANTON)

Lady, you utter madness, and not sorrow.

CONSTANCE

Thou art not holy to belie me so;
I am not mad: this hair I tear is mine;
My name is Constance; I was Geffrey’s wife;
Young Arthur is my son, and he is lost:
I am not mad: I would to heaven I were!
For then, ’tis like I should forget myself:
O, if I could, what grief should I forget!
Preach some philosophy to make me mad,
And thou shalt be canonized, cardinal;
For being not mad but sensible of grief,
My reasonable part produces reason
How I may be deliver’d of these woes,
And teaches me to kill or hang myself:
If I were mad, I should forget my son,
Or madly think a babe of clouts were he:
I am not mad; too well, too well I feel
The different plague of each calamity.

CARDINAL PANDULPH (ANTON)

You hold too heinous a respect of grief.

CONSTANCE

He talks to me that never had a son.

KING PHILIP

You are as fond of grief as of your child.

CONSTANCE

Grief fills the room up of my absent child,
Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,
Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
Remembers me of all his gracious parts,
Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form;
Then, have I reason to be fond of grief?
Fare you well: had you such a loss as I,
I could give better comfort than you do.
I will not keep this form upon my head,
When there is such disorder in my wit.
O Lord! my boy, my Arthur, my fair son!
My life, my joy, my food, my all the world!
My widow-comfort, and my sorrows’ cure!
A moment as they contemplate this.

A.J.

How? How does anyone move forward from that? I honestly don’t know if I could.

ANTON

Well, life is full of loss; staying stuck in despair is not a privilege that everyone
is afforded. If you haven’t come out of the past two years understanding that, then I don’t know what to tell you.

SAMANTHA

Wow, seriously? If you haven’t come out of the past two years with an
appreciation for the fact that each of us is dealing with our own griefs, and maybe we need to be a little more compassionate with each other, then I don’t even know how to talk to you.

TIERNAN

Hey, if you haven’t come out of the past two years with a deep sense of gratitude
at just being alive, then what is wrong with you?

THOMAS

If you haven’t all emerged from this whole thing way more interested in what
connects us than what divides us, I don’t know what we’re even doing here.

SAMANTHA

If you’re not sad and scared, then you’re not paying attention.

ANTON

If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.

TIERNAN

If you’re not #blessed then none of you have been paying attention.

THOMAS

If all you’re doing is paying attention to yourselves, then you are seriously not paying attention!
An intense moment as they stand there...

A.J.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the plan, or… So, Venus and Adonis?
They all get into position for the intro to Venus and Adonis.

TIERNAN is Venus, SAMANTHA is Adonis, THOMAS is the Horse, A.J. is the female horse. And ANTON will continue as chorus.

ANTON

Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show;
But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.
This here is Adonis, if you would know;
This gorgeous goddess Venus is certain.
This man presenteth moonshine and the sun,
And this man shall portray Adonis horse,
Who will away with this fair filly run,
As studly steeds are wont to do, of course.
The rest you’ll see and hear, as we do show
This timeless tale of love and lust and woe.
They get ready to begin, but A.J. is watching ANTON…

ANTON

EVEN as the sun with purple-colour’d face
Had ta’en his last leave of the weeping morn–

A.J. comes downstage to ANTON.

ANTON

Not again!

A.J.

Are you ok?

ANTON

Look, we did this bit. We’re past the whole “casual personal conversations” portion of the show –

A.J.

I know –

ANTON

Please! Things are finally moving forward! So let’s just get back to – (noticing
everyone else) What are you doing?

A.J.

I don’t know, I just feel like…

TIERNAN

hashtagcheckonyourstrongfriends?
Pause.

SAMANTHA

You’ve taken on a lot with this chorus character; can we help somehow?

ANTON

It’s fine, I’m fine.

TIERNAN

It’s an epic poem.

THOMAS

I mean, it’s a minor epic (TIERNAN gives a look) but yeah, totally, it’s still a lot.

SAMANTHA

“The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.”

A.J.

Let us help.

ANTON

(this is all so weird, but also kind of nice… ) ok.

A.J.

ok!
So they restart the scene.

A.J.

EVEN as the sun with purple-colour’d face
Had ta’en his last leave of the weeping morn,
Rose-cheek’d Adonis hied him to the chase;
Hunting he loved, but love he laugh’d to scorn;

SAMANTHA

(scorning at love) haha!

ANTON

Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,
And like a bold-faced suitor ’gins to woo him.

TIERNAN

’Thrice-fairer than myself,’

ANTON

thus she began,

TIERNAN

’The field’s chief flower, sweet above compare,
Stain to all nymphs, more lovely than a man, (wink to the audience)
More white and red than doves or roses are;
’Vouchsafe, thou wonder, to alight thy steed,
And rein his proud head to the saddle-bow;
If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed
A thousand honey secrets shalt thou know:

THOMAS

With this she seizeth on his sweating palm,
The precedent of pith and livelihood,
And trembling in her passion, calls it balm,
Earth’s sovereign salve to do a goddess good:
Being so enraged, desire doth lend her force
Courageously to pluck him from his horse.

A.J.

Forced to content, but never to obey,
Panting he lies and breatheth in her face;
She feedeth on the steam as on a prey,
And calls it heavenly moisture, air of grace;

ANTON

Look how he can, she cannot choose but love;
And by her fair immortal hand she swears,
From his soft bosom never to remove,
Till he take truce with her contending tears,
Which long have rain’d, making her cheeks all wet;
And one sweet kiss shall pay this countless debt.

THOMAS

So offers he to give what she did crave;
Like a dive-dapper peering through a wave,
But when her lips were ready for his pay,
He winks, and turns his lips another way.

ANTON

She wants him so badly, but he’s just playing games!

TIERNAN

’O, pity,’

ANTON

’gan she cry,

TIERNAN

’flint-hearted boy!
’Tis but a kiss I beg; why art thou coy?

ANTON

She tries everything she can think of, she cajoles, she begs, she shames,
she reminds him that he is mortal and that his life is short – she even brings
up his mother:

TIERNAN

O, had thy mother borne so hard a mind,
She had not brought forth thee, but died unkind.

ANTON

But Adonis only smirks, making these two really cute dimples in his cheeks,
which Shakespeare describes at great length.

THOMAS

Poor queen of love, in thine own law forlorn,
To love a cheek that smiles at thee in scorn!

TIERNAN

’Pity,’

ANTON

she cries,

TIERNAN

’some favour, some remorse!’

ANTON

Away he springs and hasteth to his horse.

SAMANTHA calls his horse, just as A.J. enters as a lovely female horse.

THOMAS

But, lo, from forth a copse that neighbors by,
A breeding jennet, lusty, young and proud,
Adonis’ trampling courser doth espy,
And forth she rushes, snorts and neighs aloud:
The strong-neck’d steed, being tied unto a tree,
Breaketh his rein, and to her straight goes he.

ANTON

He looks upon his love and neighs unto her;

A.J.

She answers him as if she knew his mind:
Being proud, as females are, to see him woo her,
She puts on outward strangeness, seems unkind,
Spurns at his love and scorns the heat he feels,
Beating his kind embracements with her heels.

THOMAS

He stamps and bites the poor flies, all enraged,

A.J.

His love grew kinder,

THOMAS

and he was assuaged.

ANTON

His testy master goeth about to take him;
When, lo, the unback’d breeder, full of fear,
Jealous of catching, swiftly doth forsake him,
With her the horse, and left Adonis there.

SAMANTHA

’For shame,’

ANTON

he cries,

SAMANTHA

’let go, and let me go;
My day’s delight is past, my horse is gone,
And ’tis your fault I am bereft him so:
I pray you hence, and leave me here alone;
For all my mind, my thought, my busy care,
Is how to get my palfrey from the mare.’

TIERNAN

O, learn to love; the lesson is quite plain,
And once made perfect, never lost again.’

SAMANTHA

I know not love,’

ANTON

quoth he,

SAMANTHA

’nor will not know it,
Unless it be a boar, and then I chase it;
For I have heard it is a life in death,
That laughs and weeps, and all but with a breath

ANTON

And there’s this crazy moment where he opens his mouth and she sees a vision that makes her pass out.
Venus faints.

A.J.

The silly boy, believing she is dead,
Claps her pale cheek, till clapping makes it red;

THOMAS

He wrings her nose, he strikes her on the cheeks,
He bends her fingers, holds her pulses hard,
He chafes her lips; a thousand ways he seeks
To mend the hurt that his unkindness marr’d:
He kisses her; and she, by her good will,
Will never rise, so he will kiss her still.

TIERNAN

’O, where am I?’

ANTON

quoth she,

TIERNAN

’in earth or heaven,
Or in the ocean drench’d, or in the fire?
What hour is this? or morn or weary even?
Do I delight to die, or life desire?
But now I lived, and life was death’s annoy;
But now I died, and death was lively joy.

SAMANTHA

She basically says that if it weren’t for his lips, she’d be dead.

ANTON/TIERNAN

’Long may they kiss each other, for this cure!
O, never let their crimson liveries wear!
And as they last, their verdure still endure,
To drive infection from the dangerous year!
That the star-gazers, having writ on death,
May say, the plague is banish’d by thy breath

SAMANTHA

’Fair queen,’

ANTON

quoth he,

SAMANTHA

’if any love you owe me,
Measure my strangeness with my unripe years:
Before I know myself, seek not to know me;
Now let me say ’Good night,’ and so say you;
If you will say so, you shall have a kiss.’

TIERNAN

’Good night,’

ANTON

quoth she, and, ere he says ’Adieu,’
The honey fee of parting tender’d is:
So, uh, we’ll keep this part PG, but just to say, this time, when she kisses him, he doesn’t resist… It uh (skipping some pages) goes on for a while. And I’m not saying anything but, there are references to roses being plucked, if you know what I mean. Anyway, finally, she agrees to let him go.

TIERNAN

’Sweet boy,’

ANTON

she says,

TIERNAN

’this night I’ll waste in sorrow,
For my sick heart commands mine eyes to watch.
Tell me, Love’s master, shall we meet to-morrow?
Say, shall we? shall we? wilt thou make the match?’

ANTON

He tells her, no; to-morrow he intends

ANTON/SAMANTHA

To hunt the boar with certain of his friends.

TIERNAN

’The boar!’

ANTON

quoth she; whereat a sudden pale,
Usurps her cheek; she trembles at his tale.

THOMAS

You see, when she fainted earlier, it was because she saw a vision of
Adonis being killed by a boar.

A.J.

So she tries to convince him not to go, or at least to hunt something less
aggressive, like bunnies. But he’s not interested.

ANTON

See, Adonis doesn’t believe that Venus loves him. He calls it lust, not love.

SAMANTHA

’Love comforteth like sunshine after rain,
But Lust’s effect is tempest after sun;
Love’s gentle spring doth always fresh remain,
Lust’s winter comes ere summer half be done;
Love surfeits not, Lust like a glutton dies;
Love is all truth, Lust full of forgèd lies.
’More I could tell, but more I dare not say;
Therefore, in sadness, now I will away;

A.J.

With this, he breaketh from the sweet embrace,

THOMAS

She takes off after him, but he’s been swallowed up by the dark woods, and soon she’s lost.

ANTON

And now she beats her heart, whereat it groans,
That all the neighbour caves, as seeming troubled,
Make verbal repetition of her moans;
Passion on passion deeply is redoubled:

TIERNAN

’Ay me!’
Echos: Ay me Ay me Ay me

ANTON

she cries, and twenty times

TIERNAN

’Woe, woe!’
Echos: woe woe woe woe woe

ANTON

And twenty echoes twenty times cry so.

THOMAS

Thus stands she in a trembling ecstasy;

A.J.

Till, cheering up her senses all dismay’d,

ANTON

She tells them

ANTON/TIERNAN

’tis a causeless fantasy,
And childish error, that they are afraid;
Bids them leave quaking, bids them fear no more:--’

A.J.

And with that word she spied the hunted boar…

ANTON

The mere sight of the dreaded boar, with bloody mouth, is enough to send
her reeling; she turns away, stumbling blindly until she enters a clearing:

ANTON

Venus is beside herself. She’s sure that Adonis has been killed, and, not
knowing what to do, or who to blame, she curses Death himself:

TIERNAN

’Hard-favour’d tyrant, ugly, meagre, lean,
Hateful divorce of love,’--

ANTON

thus chides she Death,--

TIERNAN

’Grim-grinning ghost, earth’s worm, what dost thou mean
To stifle beauty and to steal his breath,

A.J.

But then she hears a hunter’s voice far off, and is convinced it’s Adonis.

THOMAS

And now she hears a horn, closer this time - it must be him!

ANTON

As falcon to the lure, away she flies;
The grass stoops not, she treads on it so light;
And in her haste unfortunately spies
(Adonis’ body is discovered)
The foul boar’s conquest on her fair delight;
Which seen, her eyes, as murder’d with the view,
Like stars ashamed of day, themselves withdrew

A.J.

She can’t look, it’s too painful.

THOMAS

Her eyes close reflexively; but eventually they open again…

ANTON

And, being open’d, threw unwilling light
Upon the wide wound that the boar had trench’d
In his soft flank; whose wonted lily white
With purple tears, that his wound wept, was drench’d:
No flower was nigh, no grass, herb, leaf, or weed,
But stole his blood and seem’d with him to bleed.

A.J.

This solemn sympathy poor Venus noteth;
Over one shoulder doth she hang her head;
Dumbly she passions, franticly she doteth;
She thinks he could not die, he is not dead:
Her voice is stopt, her joints forget to bow;
Her eyes are mad that they have wept til now.

TIERNAN

’Alas, poor world, what treasure hast thou lost!
What face remains alive that’s worth the viewing?
Whose tongue is music now? what canst thou boast
Of things long since, or any thing ensuing?
The flowers are sweet, their colours fresh and trim;
But true-sweet beauty lived and died with him.”
’Since thou art dead, lo, here I prophesy:
Sorrow on love hereafter shall attend:
It shall be waited on with jealousy,
Find sweet beginning, but unsavoury end,
Ne’er settled equally, but high or low,
That all love’s pleasure shall not match his woe.
’It shall be cause of war and dire events,
And set dissension ’twixt the son and sire;
Subject and servile to all discontents,
As dry combustious matter is to fire:
Sith in his prime Death doth my love destroy,
They that love best their loves shall not enjoy.’

SAMANTHA

By this, the boy that by her side lay kill’d
Was melted like a vapour from her sight,
And in his blood that on the ground lay spill’d,
A purple flower sprung up, chequer’d with white,
Resembling well his pale cheeks and the blood
Which in round drops upon their whiteness stood.

ANTON

She bows her head, the new-sprung flower to smell,
Comparing it to her Adonis’ breath,

A.J.

And says, within her bosom it shall dwell,
Since he himself is reft from her by death:

THOMAS

She crops the stalk, and in the breach appears
Green dropping sap, which she compares to tears.
end of Veus and Adonis.

TIERNAN

How… How do we move forward from this?
(pause as they consider this. It’s a big question, bigger than just the play.)

THOMAS

(an offer) Together?

ANTON

(making a connection) Like the twins in Twelfth Night. Viola and Sebastien –
they’re ripped apart in a storm and both wind up on the shores of Illyria thinking the other is dead; it’s a comedy, so it’s all very funny, but when they’re reunited at the end, it’s so moving. Because Shakespeare got to reunite his twins onstage, even though they would never be reunited in real life.

SAMANTHA

(a realization) He wrote the world he wanted to see not just the world as it was.

A.J.

Yeah he wrote similar scenes with parents and kids, too (especially in the later
plays). He couldn’t bring his son back, but he created many moments of children
who were lost being found -

THOMAS

So true: Winter’s Tale, Cymbeline, even King Lear in a way.

TIERNAN

Can we do that? Please? I need something…

SAMANTHA

Yeah, a last scene, where what seems lost is found again, and hope is restored.

A.J.

Yeah, coming together against all odds.

ANTON

(realizing) Oh for crying out loud.

THOMAS

(honestly not sure what’s happening) What?

SAMANTHA

(to A.J.) Is this really what we’re doing?

A.J.

I know, I can’t believe it.

THOMAS

What is happening right now??

TIERNAN

You get to do your precious Pericles. Again.

THOMAS

Oh my gosh, that scene!
All“Yeah, sure” “Yes, that scene” “Like you didn’t know”

THOMAS

No, I really wasn’t even thinking of that scene… It is kinda perfect, though.

TIERNAN

Yeah, yeah.

THOMAS

In fact – oh man, I can’t believe I’m doing this but… AJ, you should play Pericles.

A.J.

What? But you love –

THOMAS

I know, I know. But you should do it.

A.J.

Wow. Thanks, man. (starts to go get ready)

THOMAS

(to B) Pericles is really old in this scene, so.

A.J.

I heard that!

THOMAS

I’ll be Lysimachus. Oh! And instead of Helicanus (a character who doesn’t really
mean anything to us for these purposes) let’s bring Lychorida back.

TIERNAN

The nurse from the storm scene?

THOMAS

Yeah! It’s gonna work - trust me.

TIERNAN

But it’s Shakespeare, can we just change the story?

THOMAS

Hello, He did it all the time, right?
(TIERNAN makes a sign like, “good point!”)
They set up for the final Pericles scene.

ANTON

Previously on Pericles, Prince of Tyre:
We join us now with Pericles
Adrift for years upon the seas.
His wife, Thaisa, thought long-lost
Whom we did see was tempest-tossed,
In fact in Ephesus was saved –
(A story for another day.)
But Pericles believed her gone,
And, grief-struck, could not carry on;
Their child, Marina, born at sea
Did Pericles in Tarsus leave,
With friends - or so he thought – but they
To kill Marina did assay,
When she had reached just fourteen years,
But pirates saved and brought her here.
Now are we in fair Mytilene,
Where, oh the things Marina’s seen;
She has survived through wit and wiles
And goodness that none could defile.
Lysimachus, the governor
Has taken quite the shine to her.
But Pericles, knows none of this
He’s deep in grief’s profound abyss;
Yet fate has brought his vessel here;
The rest, in action will appear
The scene: The ship of Pericles, moored near Mitylene. Pericles is depressed and in bed, covered in sheets. LYCHORIDA is on the ship. LYSIMACHUS enters from the shore, up the gangway onto the ship with a Lord.

LYSIMACHUS (THOMAS)

Hail, madam! the gods preserve you!

LYCHORIDA (TIERNAN)

And you, sir,

LYSIMACHUS

Being on shore,
Seeing this goodly vessel ride before us,
I made to it, to know of whence you are.

LYCHORIDA

Sir, Our vessel is of Tyre, in it the king;
A man who for this three months hath not spoken
To any one, nor taken sustenance
But to prorogue his grief.

LYSIMACHUS

Upon what ground is his distemperature?

LYCHORIDA

’Twould be too tedious to repeat;
But the main grief springs from the loss
Of a beloved daughter and a wife.

LYSIMACHUS

May we not see him?

LYCHORIDA

Behold him.

PERICLES (A.J.)

$$is discovered; he’s nearly catatonic, beyond reach.
This was a goodly person,
Till the disaster that drove him to this.

LYSIMACHUS

Hail, royal sir!

LYCHORIDA

It is in vain; he will not speak to you.

LORD (ANTON)

Sir,
We have a maid in Mytilene, I durst wager,
Would win some words of him.

LYSIMACHUS

’Tis well bethought. (the Lord exits to get Marina)
She questionless with her sweet harmony
And other chosen attractions, would allure,
And make a battery through his deafen’d parts,

LYCHORIDA

Sure, nothing we’ll omit
That bears recovery’s name.

Re-enter LORD with MARINA (SAMANTHA)

LYSIMACHUS

O, here is
The lady that I sent for. Welcome, fair one!
Is’t not a goodly presence?

LYCHORIDA

She’s a gallant lady.

LYSIMACHUS

Fair one, Here is a kingly patient:
If that thy prosperous and artificial feat
Can draw him but to answer thee in aught,
Thy sacred physic shall receive such pay
As thy desires can wish.

MARINA

Sir, I will use
My utmost skill in his recovery…

LYSIMACHUS

Come, let us leave her;
And the gods make her prosperous!

MARINA

Hail, sir! my lord, lend ear.

(PERICLES rouses slightly, but doesn’t respond.)

MARINA

I am a maid,
My lord, that ne’er before invited eyes,
But have been gazed on like a comet: she speaks,
My lord, that, may be, hath endured a grief
Might equal yours, if both were justly weigh’d.
Though wayward fortune did malign my state,
My derivation was from ancestors
Who stood equivalent with mighty kings:
(Pericles still doesn’t respond)
(Aside) I will desist;
But there is something glows upon my cheek,
And whispers in mine ear, ’Go not till he speak.’

PERICLES

(stirring) Griefs - To equal mine!--was it not thus? what say you?

MARINA

I said, my lord, if you did know my parentage,
You would not do me violence.

PERICLES

I do think so. Pray you, turn your eyes upon me.
You are like something that--What country-woman?
Here of these shores?

MARINA

No, nor of any shores:

PERICLES

I am great with woe, and shall deliver weeping.
My dearest wife was like this maid, and such a one
My daughter might have been…
Where do you live?

MARINA

Where I am but a stranger: from the deck
You may discern the place.

PERICLES

Where were you bred?

MARINA

If I should tell my history, it would seem
Like lies disdain’d in the reporting.

PERICLES

Prithee, speak: I will believe thee,
for thou look’st Like one I loved indeed.
Didst thou not say that thou camest
From good descending?

MARINA

So indeed I did.

PERICLES

Report thy parentage. I think thou said’st
thy griefs might equal mine,If both were open’d.

MARINA

Some such thing I said

PERICLES

Tell thy story;
If thine consider’d prove the thousandth part
Of my endurance, thou art a man, and I
Have suffer’d like a girl: yet thou dost look
Like Patience gazing on kings’ graves,
Thy name, I do beseech thee:

MARINA

My name is Marina. (Pericles reacts with disbelief)
The name
Was given me by one that had some power,
My father, and a king.

PERICLES

O, I am mock’d,
And thou by some incensed god sent hither
To make the world to laugh at me.
How! a king’s daughter?
And call’d Marina?

MARINA

You said you would believe me;

PERICLES

But are you flesh and blood?
Have you a working pulse? and are no fairy?
Where were you born? And wherefore call’d Marina?

MARINA

Call’d Marina
For I was born at sea.

PERICLES

At sea! what mother?

MARINA

My mother was the daughter of a king;
Who died the minute I was born,

PERICLES

O, stop there a little!
(Aside) This is the rarest dream that e’er dull sleep
Did mock sad fools withal: this cannot be:
My daughter’s buried.

MARINA

’twere best I did give o’er.
But, good sir, Why do you weep?
It may be,
You think me an impostor: no, good faith;
I am the daughter to King Pericles,
If good King Pericles be.

PERICLES

Ho, Lychorida!
Lychorida, Lysimachus and the Lord re-enter.
Lychorida
Calls my lord?

PERICLES

O Lychorida, strike me, good lady,
Give me a gash, put me to present pain;
Lest this great sea of joys rushing upon me
O’erbear the shores of my mortality,
And drown me with their sweetness. O, come hither,
Thou that beget’st him that did thee beget;
Thou that wast born at sea, buried at Tarsus,
And found at sea again! O Lychorida,
Down on thy knees, thank the holy gods as loud
As thunder threatens us: this is Marina.
What was thy mother’s name? tell me but that,
For truth can never be confirm’d enough,
Though doubts did ever sleep.

MARINA

First, sir, I pray,
What is your title?

PERICLES

I am Pericles of Tyre: but tell me now
My drown’d queen’s name, as in the rest you said
Thou hast been godlike perfect,

MARINA

Is it no more to be your daughter than
To say my mother’s name was Thaisa?
Thaisa was my mother, who did end
The minute I began.

PERICLES

Now, blessing on thee! rise; thou art my child.
She is not dead, She is thy very princess!
Give me my robes. I am wild in my beholding.
O heavens bless my girl! But, hark, what music?
The music of the spheres! List, my Marina.
Rarest sounds! Do ye not hear?

LYSIMACHUS

My lord, I hear.
Music

PERICLES

Most heavenly music!
A moment as they listen to the music.

THOMAS

Well, it feels like it’s time to wrap things up, but how do we end?

A.J.

Don’t look at me, I pivoted, I’m going with the flow now.

ANTON

Me too.

SAMANTHA

Did we do enough? Too much?

TIERNAN

Listen, you could ask that of almost any Shakespeare play, so.

SAMANTHA/ANTON/THOMAS

“True!” “Right” “No kidding” etc

A.J.

In fact! Some of Shakespeare’s best plays actually end with an epilogue
apologizing for the shortcomings of the play that was just performed. It happens in All’s Well, Henry 5, of course Midsummer’s –

SAMANTHA

Ooh! Yes! Let’s do that! Ahem:
“If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended – “

TIERNAN

Wait wait! Why do we have to go with Puck, that’s so obvious. What about
Rosalind? “It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;
but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue.”

THOMAS

Come on, we gotta do Prospero!
“Now my charms are all o’erthrown,
And what strength I have’s mine own,
Which is most faint:”

ANTON

No, no. It’s Henry VIII for me:
’Tis ten to one this play can never please
All that are here: some come to take their ease,
And sleep an act or two; but those, we fear,
We have frighted with our trumpets; –

A.J.

Let’s go with the shortest one, From All’s Well:
The king’s a beggar, now the play is done:
All is well ended, if this suit be won,
That you express content; which we will pay,
With strife to please you, day exceeding day:
Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;
Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.
They like that one. But then ANTON decides:

ANTON

No epilogue, I pray you. For our play needs no excuse. Never excuse…

TIERNAN

But come, a Bergomask Dance?

Music. They end the show with a dance.